Instincts

Its 1.23am and I'm staring at myself with thoughts running wild in my mind ( they will never stop running, thats one thing for sure). Days goes by so quickly (too quickly in fact!) that sometimes I really wish I don't have to carry so many obligations and to take shit from people. But too bad, "In life we HAVE to take shit from people"- Horrible Bosses. Well, nuff said. 

Been going through tons of ups and downs; be it in relationship or work. Lets take them as a test of perseverance. Patience and determination should meet up at the top, someday ( when I think I AM ready). To be honest, I couldn't bother less to be envious or grudging towards people that are actually not even worth my time. Life has given me so much lessons; lessons that I should really look into. Truth be told, I have been such an ignorant and stubborn (call me stubby!) kid; I NEVER LISTEN TO PEOPLE. And until I finally hit the wall, I woke up and realized I have been too bad to be good. 

There were two things that made me realize, I haven't been learning life-lessons well enough. 

1) I was driving home from Uni and I saw this lady on a wheelchair, by the road. Despite the hot scorching weather, she had a smile on her face the entire time! And I instantly became ashamed of myself. I was in a car, fully air-conditioned; and I couldn't stop bitching and complaining about what I have not achieved. That really gave me a slap in my face. 

2) Also, while on the way home, there was this car ahead of me; driving at 30km/h on a straight road. I was wondering to myself " Oh my god. I am late enough, are you kidding me Kelisa?", without even thinking twice, I put on a spurt and accelerated to be ahead of them. I was so driven by my anger that I didn't realize that it was actually a disabled motorist in front of the car, which was previously ahead of me. I was really ashamed of myself. Couldn't felt more remorseful. What made me felt even worse, was that the Pakcik had a smile on his face the whole time. Why was I so grumpy and anger-driven? 

I have so much more to learn. 

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.