Monday, February 10, 2014

Almost Lover

I don't usually get very personal when it comes to my public posts. And, I don't really intend to. But today, something.. somehow just triggered my emotions and I am going to tell you a story. 

A love story. 

But before I proceed further, remember these two names; Alaric and Mia. 


Mia, known for her bubbly personality; has always been the people person. She's the heart of every party that she goes to. She warms up to people so quickly, so easily, so naturally.. conversations with her can hardly ever get awkward, because she's simply so nice to converse with! And when she listens, she does it with all her heart. She's a simple girl, easily amused, can get pretty gullible at times.. but she has a good heart. 

And like any other girl, she longs for her prince charming, her knight in shining armor.. or whatever else you call it. Not that she's on a hunt or anything, she just secretly wishes that someday, The One would come knocking on her door. Yes, if you're trying figure out if she's a hopeless romantic? I'm gonna give you a yes. A big fat YES! 

"If I ever find my my other half again, I'll love him with all my life, my all. I'd shower him with my affection, my love, and I'll love him like no other. And if he ever walks into my life.. I would know. But I'm curious; how would he look like? Would he be like the many other guys I've dated before? Ew, no please. Some were douches, and I'm allergic to douches. No, he won't be, I know. It will all be right, in His timing. It will all be right". 

So, one day.. Alaric came into the picture (he just popped out of nowhere, like a mushroom! yes, mushroom!). Well, he wasn't the kind of guy that you would notice at your first glance. But funny enough, he was what Mia had always wished for. In fact, almost close to perfect if you must ask. How on Earth is that even possible?! Yes, he's Chinese ( great, her parents would love him), he speaks perfect English ( thank God, she'll never be able to handle a ching-chong-bing-bong), he's pretty damn well-built ( oh, Mia is a total sucker for men who works out, especially if you're those with nice arms and 6-pack abs. oh, that's a done deal hunny!) ; I don't want to sound like a shallow bitch, but let's just admit it.. who wouldn't swoon over a nice body?! I TOTALLY WOULD AND I'M NOT GOING TO DENY THAT. Also, he speaks perfect French and nope I'm not even done yet.. he's a Harvard graduate ( ok, stop!).   

"Okay, this can't be true. Sounds too good to be true. How can he seem so perfect? No, God.. you're scaring me.. I asked for a good man. You gave me a perfect one." 

(I'm speaking as Mia.) 

There was this one day, he asked me out. This is going to be my second time meeting him. And IT'S A DATE! Oh my Lord, my heart raced and I didn't know how to respond. I don't remember how it was like to be on a date. It felt like eons of years ago. I've never really dressed up for dates when I was with my ex ; I mean.. everything was so casual then. But I didn't want this date to be casual. Alaric seems so special. "Okay, I'm going to look my best", I told myself. I ransacked my entire wardrobe, found the perfect bareback dress, did my hair and some make-up and I left. I made sure I smelt like my favourite Acqua di Gioia essenza. I was never really the kind of girl who cares about .. handcreams. But that night, I just felt like I needed everything to be perfect. Because.. he was. 

I switched between my ballerina flats and my heels a couple of times. I hate being this tall sometimes. "If only he was taller", I thought to myself. Ugh, perfection is overrated. 

"Just be yourself, Mia." 

"Don't impress too much. You don't know him that well."

"Don't have to give him your best, he does not deserve it, not yet". 

I just.. over-freaking-think sometimes. No, most of the time. 

We were supposed to meet at 8.30pm. It was 8.25pm and my heart started to race, I think it popped. I went to the ladies several times, just to make sure I looked alright.. if not my best. And when the minute-hand reached the 30th minute, my phone rang. 


Well, of course I picked it up! I've waited all week to see this guy. ALL WEEK! Feels like forever, I swear. But I didn't want to seem like I was too eager. I let it ring for another 2 (and a half) times, before giving my best "Hey!". 

The moment I saw him, my heart dropped. Honestly, he wasn't the best looking guy in town, but his personality just shines through and there's so much goodness in him that it's hard not to love. He has this megawatt smile that would just melt your heart, almost instantaneously. At least it did, to me. And the funniest part about him is when he laughs.. you can't see his eyes. Uhm, Chinese.. but.. such a cutie.

So, yes. We went to this French restaurant; and that was when I heard him speak French for the first time. Mind you, it was perfect French. PLUS FREAKING POINT! Apparently, he lived in France for 3 years before moving back here. Interesting.. this guy travels. And I love a guy who travels. He can story me his adventures, because ... I love stories. I'd have bedtime stories supply that would last a lifetime!

The food was great, but my company that night was the best, ever. I don't remember too much details from that night; but I sure won't forget this. 

(in the midst of our conversation)

Alaric : Mia, could you please do me a favor? 

Mia     : uhm.. yes?

Alaric  : Could you stop smiling like that? 

Mia     : Huh? (I swear, I thought something was stucked in between my teeth) 

Alaric   : No, not that. Your smile is too sweet, its distracting me. 

I blushed. And I don't remember myself 'blushing' like that for a long time! He was amazing, and I'll never forget that. From then on, things just kept on going and we saw each other almost every other week. Alaric, well.. he's quite a workaholic. Being the workaholic that he is.. he travels quite abit too. So, we only saw each other whenever he's back in town. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder" - I guess it's true. And what I loved most about him, was his heart of Gold. He was such a giver; and he made me realize that chivalry isn't dead. He was the perfect gentleman. And we always had so much to talk about; so much so that we would talk until either one of us falls asleep. 

Everything seemed fine, until one day.. when I realized something wasn't right. I just didn't feel right. He was distancing himself; and I didn't understand why. Just when I thought things were going fine. I wanted to know what went wrong. I was broken when I finally realized that.. things would never work out between us. I was shattered. I was broken. I was disappointed. I was furious. I was everything. He was my everything. Or least I thought so. Emotions were all over the place. 

But it was a tad too late. I've already fallen into the 'black hole'. I was in love with him. And there.. was no turning back. I had to deal with my emotions. It was all over the place, I remembered. But I just had to pick myself back up. I mean.. what other choice do I have? I had no choice. He just vanished into thin air.. just like that. I knew the problem wasn't with me; and he told me too. 

Well I guess.. 

"I wish I knew you earlier, Mia. I really really wish I did". 

But you didn't. Too bad for you Alaric. You were amazing, we had a great time, but I should've known you'll bring me heartache. I guess, our love will have to wait another lifetime. I know LOVE is a strong word, but I loved you. I was ready to love you.. I was ready to give you my all.. my time, my care, my affection, my everything. But... there's always a 'but' hey? Well, wherever you are right now.. whichever part of the globe.. I wish you well. And perhaps, we'll meet again in another lifetime.. hopefully 'in time' to catch each other again. 

Farewell for now, my almost lover. I'll try not to think about you :) 



It's 3.45am now, I shall head to bed. But writing this 'love story' tore open my heart once again, and the song.. just enhances the whole mellowness in me. HAHA. I love doing this to myself, I'm insane. Just one of those nights where I just needed to pour my heart out. Truth be told, I'm not a very brilliant writer; I suck at executing my ideas into words, but I try. And I tried :) I hope you liked both my characters, Alaric and Mia.

Why do you think Alaric did that? I'm pretty sure Mia would love to know. I'm pondering myself too. It could've been such a wonderful love story. Could've been.

1 comment:

annie.khaw said...

Alaric was probably a married guy that you met while his wife was 'away', perhaps they were on the downhill slide of marriage life and needed some time away from each other to cool things off. And that was exactly when the two of you found each other. There was no retrospective pondering. There was no confusion on the difference between love and lust. It was what it was. However, in the end, reality claims its throne and life goes on for the both of you. (Just some of my random late night thoughts)