Monday, October 13, 2014

Here she goes...

I’m not sure where to start.

I’ve collected over 10 drafts in “Maggy Writes” folder and none gets published. None. Most of the time I’d write and pour my heart out, but after letting the drafts sit in for a couple of days; they usually end up in the folder for another donkey years. In other words, NOT ’PUBLISHABLE.’ If that word even exist.

This year, in particular has been a full on roller coaster ride. From January till March, then May.. and it went on till June, July… and now October. I honestly thought my streak of ‘bad luck’ would end in August. NOPE, I was completely wrong and it caught me off guard again!

Seriously though, when life throws shit at you; over and over and over again.. you just get so numb with the pain, that you eventually won’t give a shit anymore. Mind my language here but really. You’ll be so jaded that if life is going to give you anymore shit, you could (pretty literally) just take it and mould it into something less.. shitty. I’m not sure if that made sense, but yes. You get the drift.

But then again, such is life. There’s always going to be another mountain, somebody better than you, somebody that’s in a way worse situation than you, after one comes another and it’s going to be an uphill battle. And what do you do? You fight, you fight and you fight. You fight for your life.  And I’ll never forget this one phrase I got from a pastor early this year “If God leads you to it, He will lead you through it”. I guess, God DID give me heads up.

Well, if I look on the brighter side. At least I have a story to tell. A pretty juicy one too! ;) 

And as you go on and live life... you'll meet people. 

Some would come into your life and stay for that little while; and when it's time they leave, let them. If they want to stay in your life, they would make the effort. Some would guide you, some would lead you, some would hurt you, and some would want to love you (and you too, would gladly return the love). 

Some would hurt you so bad that you would spend weeks, or maybe months trying to get over the fact they're no longer a part of your life. But God always have His reasons for bringing these people into your life; to teach you a lesson, to wake you up, and to make you realize. And someday, you would look back and gladly say "I'm glad that happened". Trust me, if you're enduring or mourning for the loss of that someone right now.. my advice would be; embrace the pain because you need to go through this phase. But one day, you'll have to wake up and tell yourself "It is time to start anew!". 

Once you find the courage to do that, amazing things will start happening to you. It might not happen immediately, but it will. I've honestly never been this happy in my life. It's simple, but I'm contented. I don't have a lot, but I have enough. I don't have a gazillion of friends, but I have a handful whom I truly love and trust. That to me, is more than enough. Sometimes in life, we ourselves tend to complicate the simplest things. IT IS WHAT IT IS. Remember, 

"Everything happens for a reason; right person, right time and always for the best reason" 

I'm not sure if you've seen my latest video on my recent elimination from Miss Astro Chinese International Pageant 2014. Yes, rejection sucks. Being called "FAT" and "OBESE" sucks. Truth be told, all the criticisms I got hurt my confidence pretty badly. But what can I do? Cry over spilt milk? Complain? Badmouth whoever that threw those words at me? NOPE. I mean, sure.. I do have the option to make a video and rant and complain about everything that happened.. probably the easy way out to release my anger but, I would much rather channel my anger into something better. 

Something that could also perhaps spark inspiration in others. Something that could perhaps make others feel that they are not alone, and that I, too am going through the same. I won't elaborate too much on this topic; perhaps in my next video, or blogpost. But if you haven't seen the video, check it out! :)

I'm actually writing this with a pounding headache. Had the sudden urge to write. I'm just so random like that. And hence, the super sporadic posts throughout the year. Speaking of which! Something's brewing my in mind.. and will keep you guys posted! 

Much love,


karen22 said...

I do read you blogs..hope u r alright

Bilqis R said...

you are beautiful!